As we learn to trust God we can learn to “trust” people

Another small baby step…sitting in front of the Easley church sanctuary, slowly internalizing TRUTH–and then trying to capture it on paper.

January 3, 1995
Before God can help us with our problems and fears, we have to will to learn to trust God. We must get to know God’s character and trustworthiness intimately. This doesn’t happen overnight. We must learn to trust God in order to trust people. We must learn how God loves us, that we might love other people.

End quote.

For me, my emotional growth and healing was closely tied to my relationship with God. He was “mentoring” me by helping me know who HE was and how HE interacted with people in the Bible! Who could be a better mentor?! A completely healthy personality without human fallenness and baggage!! (No hidden or unseen neediness or motives of self-centeredness or self in control!)

Yet God involved many people to help me in my journey…authors, speakers and especially friends who shared what they had learned and many friends who let me talk out what I was learning! We need good people around us!!

Suggested reading–last half of Isaiah starting at chapter 40

If anyone is struggling with fear, insecurity, identity, etc. try reading the latter chapters of Isaiah. Some of those verses have been foundational emotional building blocks for me starting with Isaiah chapter 40.

We’re to love the way God loves us!

December 4, 1994
We must love our children, our spouses, our friends, even our enemies unconditionally. We cannot love if. . . .

God loves us just as we are. That doesn’t mean that He’s “satisfied” with us, but He loves us right where we are.

***
From The Disconnected Generation by Josh McDowell/What True Love is!
There are three different kinds of love people express.
1. I love you if . . .
This is conditional love, given or received only when certain conditions are met. “If” love is basically selfish. It is a bargaining chip.

“If” love always has strings attached. When expectations are not met, “if” love is withdrawn. Many marriages break up because they were built on “if” love. Then if one or both partners fail to perform to the desired standard, “love” turns to disappointment and resentment.

“If” love is not true love. If a young person is in a relationship in which he/she senses pressure to perform in a certain way to gain the love he/she desires, the relationship is not governed by true love.

2. I love you, because . . .
This second kind of love is a close cousin to “if” love. I love you because you are so beautiful, take care of me, are so sweet, kind, etc.

“Because” love seems much less demanding and conditional than trying to bargain for love. However, what happens when you meet someone sweeter or more beautiful?!!

If love is not based on who the person is and what they do, it may not survive any negative changes in his/her role or performance. (wrecks, accidents, diseases? What then?)

“Because” love is not true love. If love is not founded on more than what the other person is, has, or does, it will not last.

3. I love you, period.
The third kind of love is love without conditions.

True love is love that loves, period! Love, period, is not blind. It can and should know a great deal about the other person. It may be aware of that person’s failures, shortcomings and faults. Yet it totally accepts that person without demanding anything in return. There is no way you can earn true love, nor can you lose it.

Lust, romance, infatuation, sex, “if” love, “because” love, are predominantly about getting something from another person. True love is about giving to another person. For these to grow into true love, there must be a transition to the giving side of love.

From The Disconnected Generation by Josh McDowell

I guess my journal entry reflects the process of shifting from “because” love to “period” love! I’m so glad for God’s patience with us!!

An Oswald Chambers quote

Oswald Chambers
February 21
Do You Really Love Him?

Quote:
“…to be surrendered to God is of more value than our personal holiness.

Concern over our personal holiness causes us to focus our eyes on ourselves, and we become overly concerned about the way we walk, talk, and look, out of fear of offending God. (emphasis mine)

But “perfect love cast out fear” once we are surrendered to God. (I John 4:18)

We should quit asking ourselves “are we of any use?” The issue is never of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself. (emphasis mine)

Once we are totally surrendered to God, He will work through us all the time.”
Unquote.

I think this is so true! Satan is so sly…he will try to shift even our good intentions into “selfish” mode and we don’t even realize it. Anytime he can keep our attention on ourselves, we will not have the emotional energy we could have had to give to others out of love! Lord, help us to abandon ourselves to you because we trust You! I want to a team player for God today!

God wants to teach us unselfish love!

2-20-2012

Slowly working my way to getting to know God the way He IS….

October 24, 1994
God reacts to the love that we show to others. I believe His goal is to teach us real love—unselfish love. As surely as we encourage our children when they show good traits, so God will encourage us!

And seeing myself the way I was…. (Hopefully I’m not in that same place now!)

October 26, 1994
Lord, please help me not to use people (or my kids) as emotional punching bags—-dumping my bad feelings onto someone else!! When we do, to that extent we drive people (kids) away from us. We are laying walls in our relationships brick by brick.

Too often we negatively interpret God’s actions

Another entry used on FB, but for continuity I’d like to post it.

October 22, 1994
Am I the only one who has the problem of automatically “negatively interpreting” God’s actions? For example,
The Old Testament talks about God visiting the sins of the fathers on the children even to the 3-4th generation. So often people react with the attitude that God is angry and out of anger for the “sin” committed, He is punishing us.

I think we would understand God better if we came from the angle of action and consequence.

When man chose self-centeredness and self-rule in the Garden, there were consequences and actions as natural to those attitudes as any other natural law. (see Galations 5:19-21—adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissension, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like.)

God deals with actualities.

I’ve seen Christians saved out of the “rough”. Realistically it takes two-three generations to really prune away unloving attitudes, selfish motives, or wrong habits and reactions (especially in regard to human relationships) that have been learned as children and teens. This is a little hard to understand. I’m not talking about willful acts of selfishness or sin, but of unlearning incorrect emotional responses.

God Is Not Who Satan Says He Is!

February 10, 2012
There are parts of a section in my journal that I posted on FB a while back. But again, for continuity, I have decided to include them.

Satan is real and is the father of lies. He still lies to me…not so much now about who God is but about who I am. If we spend all our emotional energy stewing over Satan’s LIES to us, he still has us where he wants us…self-focused and unable to communicate God’s love to others; how delightful it is to be in authentic relationship with God! Real relationship with God changes all our other relationships for good!! We start up the spiral!

Quote:
October 19, 1994
It seems that Satan does everything he can from the time we are children to break our trust in God even more! He highlights people’s failures, he lies about God’s character and purposes. He tries to influence us to view God through our own self-centered and self-seeking ways.

It takes time and it takes trust and commitment to learn who God really is. We have to rebuild trust in God! It is very interesting to see how different God is from the immature concept we have of Him. When will we learn that God’s way is a completely positive way?!! Even the negative things that happen to us are for our good—either to prune off the dead weight or to let us be a help to others.
End quote.

Slowly going up the spiral…!

Maturing love toward good parents and toward God

Another baby step toward authentic relationship…  🙂  

October 1, 1994

As children, we learn to love our parents for what they DO for us—a selfish love in a sense.  But as we grow up we learn to love them because of who they are!  Our relationship to God is the same.  We’ve got to know and love God—not just what He does!

Emotions and temptation

February 7, 2012

Another step-by-step understanding in regard to emotions

September 23, 1994
It seems to me that if we live by our emotions, the devil has an inroad to our inner self. Temptation often comes because whatever it is has the potential of making us feel good. We have to learn to use God’s guidelines to decision making. Not only going by feelings (peace of God) but also by what will be the consequences to this decision. The mark of maturity is the ability to look ahead to outcomes with a clear vision, not only by what feels right!

Healthy Jealosy

I enjoyed John’s sermon so much yesterday from James 4. At the bottom of the page in my Bible, I had written this comment on verse 5 sometime during the time I was trying to relearn trust (The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously…)

The word jealous has always had a negative connotation to me, like someone is selfishly possessive. Satan’s lie to me was the inner impression that God is selfishly possessive of me so that God would get HIS needs met! Talk about viewing God through our own fallen emotions!!

However, this verse is not talking about a bad jealousy. This is the key truth God helped me to see.

A wife yearns jealously to have all her husband’s love. Otherwise, she cannot give all of herself to him!!! Likewise, God jealously yearns to have our complete trust in Him so that He can give Himself, reveal Himself to us. That’s called relationship!!!

Jealousy longs to preserve and protect what is rightfully ours.
Envy wants what someone else has which is not rightfully ours.